What Counts as Cheating According to Real Couples

Ah, infidelity – the rookie relationship mistake. Well, it would be if you assume that your partner feels the same about it.

Cheating is quite a murky territory. Does a sending flirtatious message to strangers on social media cross the line into infidelity territory? What about forming deep non-sexual bonds with strangers? If you would ask an infidelity therapist, physical infidelity is something that really unnerves men more than emotional cheating – whereas women have an equal stance for both.

Woman And Man Sitting on Brown Wooden Bench

Well, that didn’t really clear your confusion, did it? In the age of easy sexual accessibility and Tinder, it is very important for relationships to define when monogamy crosses over to infidelity. Even though asking an infidelity therapist would be a great idea, let’s have a look at what real couples had to say and how they defined monogamy and infidelity.

  • Todd and Tyler

Todd and Tyler Gibbon is a married couple and they believe that emotional affairs can be just as crippling as physical ones. They believe that cheating can be in any form as long as you’re becoming intimate with someone other than your partner.

  • Lauren and Jake

Both Lauren and Jake are lifestyle bloggers and are happily in a relationship. Both of them thought that cheating can be defined as having a deep and secret physical intimacy outside of their committed relationship. They believe that sexual intimacy is the most romantic you can get with someone else, and therefore, it can and should be regarded as the epitome of disloyalty. Emotional intimacy, according to them, was definitely not equal to physical intimacy.

  • Julia and Eileen

Julia is a lifestyle blogger and Eileen is a writer and both of them had mixed opinions about what infidelity meant for them. Julia thought that if her partner cheated on her emotionally, then it would be much worse than if she was physical with some other woman. She believes that every human can form an interest in someone other than their partner, but to be emotionally intimate like Whatsapping, texting, or kissing, would definitely be cheating.

Eileen, on the other hand, believed that cheating could be any break of physical or emotional integrity of the relationship. She believed strongly in the promise of monogamous fidelity and the boundaries set in the relationship beforehand are a clear definition of this promise.

  • Angela and John

Angela was a sex therapist while John was a marriage counselor and they were quite clear about what they thought cheating was. Both Angela and John thought that it was important for the individuals involved in the relationship to clarify their goals and boundaries beforehand. These boundaries can be set anywhere as long as both individuals are alright with them and completely honest about their input.  Any breach of these boundaries will, therefore, count as cheating.



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